Over this past holiday weekend, The Hollywood Reporter listed the top 15 biggest box-office failures of the year and shockingly none of them are all really that much of a surprise. Maybe my X-mas egg nog was spiked with a little too much holiday cheer yesterday but somehow my heart grew three sizes this weekend. That being said solely using this list as evidence, I’ve decided give Tinseltown not one, not two but THREE ways to fix the hemorrhage of box-office receipts. Now take it or leave it Hollywood, but don’t say I didn’t tell you.
#1: Been There, Done That
Stop with films that literally give us the same plots and setups and as other films. Mars Needs Moms, Larry Crowne, The Change-Up are all the same formulas that we not only have seen before but seen done waaaay better. Hollywood, you’re often known for trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. However, judging by the state of things maybe it’s time to upgrade your material.
#2: Remakes, No Mas
Three of the top 15 alone are remakes and none, I repeat none of the remakes released this year earned more than $60 million in box-office this year and believe it or not the highest grossing remake of 2011 was Footloose. My Pysch 101 class always taught me that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something different. So enough with the crazy and give audiences something new.
#3: Big Names Does Not Equal Big Box Office
Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Craig, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey and all two thousand cast members of New Year’s Eve tried and failed, miserably, to create box office smashes based solely on star power alone. If this isn’t evidence enough that moviegoers really aren’t as stupid as you treat them then think again. Even almost sure-fire bets like Green Lantern and Cowboys & Aliens folded under the bloated hubris of their own productions.
So that’s my gift you this year Hollywood and please don’t say that I never gave you anything. See you next year.
Here’s the Top 15 Biggest Underperformers of the Year according to The Hollywood Reporter:
1. Mars Needs Moms – Budget: $150M; Global Gross: $39M
2. Sucker Punch – Budget: $82M; Global Gross: $89.8M
3. Arthur – Budget: $40M; Global Gross: $45.7M
4. Green Lantern – Budget: $200M; Global Gross: $219.9M
5. Cowboys & Aliens – Budget: $163M; Global Gross: $178.8M
6. Glee: The 3D Concert Movie – Budget: $9M; Global Gross: $18.7M
7. Conan the Barbarian – Budget: $90M; Global Gross: $48.8M
8. I Don’t Know How She Does It – Budget: $24M; Global Gross: $30.5M
9. The Thing – Budget: $38M; Global Gross: $27.4M
10. The Big Year – Budget: $41M; Global Gross: $7.4M
11. The Rum Diary – Budget: $45M; Global Gross: $21.6M
12. Anonymous – Budget: $30M; Global Gross: $14.8M
13. Tower Heist – Budget: $75M; Global Gross: $126.3M
14. Happy Feet Two – Budget: $135M; Global Gross: $115M
15. New Year’s Eve – Budget: $56M; Global Gross: $54.9M